Well phooey.
It has been 2 years since I started SOP, determined to make positive changes that would allow for a more secure future for my family.
I confess, I feel like a failure.
I do not feel the “Spirit of Power” refered to in Timothy coursing through me – the start of another year leaves me feeling defeated and slightly embarrassed that my attempts have been so fruitless.
Junior is a wonderful addition to the family, and easily the single best thing I have ever done in my life. Of course, the glory of a new life created really goes to someone much higher than even the almighty mom. 
But it leaves me wondering if God’s plan for me is, indeed, to have only one major accomplishment - being his mom. Monetary success isn’t everything, sure, but it doesn’t hurt when it is time to pay the diaper and baby food bills either.
I know I am a good mom. I know we are doing ok.
I just really believed that I would be able to help contribute to my family’s present and future security in a concrete manner – and 2 years with not one single gain seems to indicate significant failure.
That just stinks.
