A few weeks into this pregnancy I had some very scary and concerning days – there are few things scarier to a pregnant woman than the presence of blood.
And though it was months ago now, and blessedly it did resolve (after a week or so of nervous doctor visits and calls, and what basically turned into bed rest as much as I could do so,) I remember the scared desperation, the prayerful hours of laying on the bed, or sitting with my feet propped up in my office and realizing (and not caring) that I was incapable of thinking of one other thing at all.
I remember it well.
That being said, as my pregnancy has progressed unremarkably for the past months, I have allowed myself to move past that feeling, to start test-driving strollers and fussing over furniture and functioning as though the baby coming is a given – which is something that was hard for me, we wanted to be cautious, and it had all happened “so easily” for us, but I have begun to picture the future without knocking on wood or thinking the worst.
I have also found myself wrapped up in day-to-day little things that pregnancy can bring – my broken out face, worrying about looking frumpy in my clothes, etc…
Until Tuesday when everything stopped.
Blood in my urine, and aching pain in several places, and I was in my car headed to the doctor just one day before I had an appointment to go over my perfect ultrasound results, a day I had been so excited to welcome.
And then it wasn’t the easy answer UTI that everyone said is almost a pregnancy rite-of- passage… The Cub was fine, strong heartbeat and where he needed to be, but there were no easy answers for my symptoms.
2 days of doctors later, it appears that this mama-to-be has Kidney Stone(s) – probably minor ones, and that drinking lots of water and cranberry juice (and lemonade too, says Dr Sissy) and moving around a bit (in careful ways,) is the best course of action – along with monitoring my temperature, and (my thing, not Doc’s orders) checking to hear that sweet sweet little heartbeat… (So glad I have my doppler at home.)
And I feel SO foolish for giving even a thought to my zits, or if my maternity jeans are cool enough, or even THINKING of not taking my cousin’s very generous offer of his beautiful nursery furniture because it isn’t the color I originally planned for.
WHO CARES!? The ONLY important thing is the safety and well-being of this gift from God growing inside me. Protecting him, celebrating him, and thinking of him and of his Creator are all that matters.
Of course I can’t wait for this all to be behind us – I pray that joyful times will soon be back in our home and hearts. I thank God for The Hub who possesses amazing strength (while knowing just when to give me space and when to defer to my choices,) in difficult times, and for my sweet puffy doggie who always seems to know when to stick close to mommy. It is good to be loved and safe with your family in scary times.
So I concentrate on the health and well-being of our son and myself FOR my son, and my family…I concentrate on honoring God by cherishing the life he has growing inside me….
I concentrate on what matters most.