We’ve established that I am a
total freak of a bit of a worrier.
There are times when I think that the power to be concerned about every conceivable thing that may happen in any given situation is actually my super power, and a gift to be nurtured.
Most of the time, however, I believe that it is (for the most part,) something I need to rein in – to monitor and control through careful, realistic thinking, and a healthy dose of prayer.
This week has consisted WAY more of me giving into the worry than it has me attempting to keep it in check – and even as I am actually typing this, I am pretty much letting the worry win.
The current (main) source of concern stems from something that is actually a very joyous occasion – my baby shower, which my dear friend is hosting with Dr. Sissy this weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited about it, I LOVE the thought of getting all the women in my life who mean so much to me together for a few hours – what better way to prepare for a baby than to be surrounded by all of that women’s intuition and wisdom?
But the thing is –
Well – it’s the weather, you see.
All week long I have been watching the forecasts, and all week long there as been a “maybe snow” thing happening for the weekend. Here it is Thursday, and forecasts STILL aren’t certain, and still vary widely – starting tonight when Dr Sissy and Vaughny are due to fly in, with my parents driving out to pick them up
in Kansas er, I mean, at DIA, and continuing on into tomorrow when I am supposed to drive way down South to get some maternity pics taken, then drive back up North to spend time with said sister and nephew.
And even Saturday, when so many people who I love will be gathering in one place, driving over roads that I so desperately want to just stay dry and safe this whole weekend.
So I pray – that the snow stays in the mountains, where people actually seem to enjoy it; that myself and those I love travel safely and don’t take any chances; and that worry won’t completely control my mind the whole weekend (or the rest of my life, frankly.) I truly believe that situations like this are a test – maybe from God, maybe from the enemy, designed to make me “walk the walk” and prove that I can and do put my faith in God regarding His plan for our lives. I know this in my heart.
I have trouble hearing His voice though – trouble figuring out which path proves that? If I get up tomorrow to a driving blizzard, do I hunker down and cancel plans, or can I only show that I have that kind of faith if I drive out into the blizzard praying He will protect me and that His will be done?
I have no idea. I just keep praying for dry roads, a safe and happy family, and that regardless of the situation, I will know God’s voice when I need to.