Thankful for the honor of worrying

And so I close the month of Thankful posts basically where I began.

Almost a year ago,  just when I was starting to relax a bit (sort of) in my pregnancy, this happened.

I can remember the panic, the fear, the desperation to just know what was happening like it was last week.   On Sunday I noticed that Rudolph was on for the first time of the season last night, and  I distinctly remembered laying on the sofa watching Rudolph last year – or facing the TV and realizing I was not-at-all watching Rudolph, and trying (and failing,) to not cry,  and praying that everything would be ok.  It was everything, EVERYTHING, and I was so scared he was slipping away.

I have thought a lot about that time in my pregnancy this month.  Through Cooper’s first few colds and tummy bugs and such, and through the cutting of his first teeth and the long nights and cranky days that can accompany those things.

I am sure that other scary things will happen, and I know there will be times when my nerves are frayed.   But oh how lucky I am to get the chance to be there for all of it.

I am just so very thankful that I get the privilege of worrying about him, of watching him grow, of  being his mom.  I am still just as blown away by the magnitude of God’s gift of getting to nurture this life as I was the first time I saw those two pink lines on the test.

Oh how I love him so.

 

 

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Filed under Day to Day, Empowering the Spirit

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