Deja Vu

Well phooey.

It has been 2 years since I started SOP, determined to make positive changes that would allow for a more secure future for my family.

I confess, I feel like a failure.

I do not feel the “Spirit of Power” refered to in Timothy coursing through me – the start of another year leaves me feeling defeated and slightly embarrassed that my attempts have been so fruitless.

Junior is a wonderful addition to the family, and easily the single best thing I have ever done in my life.  Of course, the glory of a new life created really goes to someone much higher than even the almighty mom.  🙂

But it leaves me wondering if God’s plan for me is, indeed, to have only one major accomplishment – being his mom.  Monetary success isn’t everything, sure, but it doesn’t hurt when it is time to pay the diaper and baby food bills either.

I know I am a good mom.  I know we are doing ok.

I just really believed that I would be able to help contribute to my family’s present and future security in a concrete manner – and 2 years with not one single gain seems to indicate significant failure.

That just stinks.

 

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